It seems as if Glen had a joke for every occasion. Even something as simple as asking him what time it was would be answered with his classic, “Oh.. it’s about ten minutes till now.” It was only a few years after his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s that the meaning of the word ‘now’ starting changing for him, and for me, as his caregiver.
As the disease worsened and progressively robbed Glen of his memory and other basic functions, time was no longer something he thought or worried about. Whether he wanted to or not, he began to live in the moment – always in the “now.” I, however, was painfully aware of every hour, day, week and month as they flew by. I felt as if I was aging alone, and given the stress from being a caregiver… rapidly! Our once very busy social and work calendars were suddenly marked with little else besides doctor visits and notes of his progression from stage to stage, with no regularity or predictability at all.
As the years passed, I became not only worried about ‘now,’ but about ‘tomorrow’ as well.
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Now, a year after Glen’s passing, I find myself sitting in the beachside kitchen of my friend Jane Seymour, thinking about my new reality and what I am going to do with my life ‘now,’ when I notice a whimsical clock hanging on the wall. It looks like a standard clock-face, but with the word “NOW” in the place of every number! This makes perfect sense knowing Jane the way I do – it’s just the kind of woman she is. Jane chooses to always live in the ‘now’ as a celebration of life and joy, and the thought of learning how to do this for myself brings me great comfort.
After all, God’s greatest gift to us is time, and He gives it to all of us equally. There are only 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week, and a short number of years we have each been given. I thought for a moment about this bit of scripture and wondered why I had even wasted a single minute worrying instead of using that minute to praise God, to thank Him, and to serve Him by serving others.
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:27, 34
Thanks to my faith in God, my friends, and an inspiring husband who continues to teach me lessons about life even after his passing, I am finally starting feel good not only about my life ‘now,’ but ‘tomorrow’ as well.