“Blank Stares” by Jay Allen

My name is Jay Allen. I’m a country music artist and songwriter signed to Sony/ATV in Nashville, TN.

My mom has early onset Alzheimer’s, and at the age of only 52, she’s now showing signs of stage 6. It’s something that has affected my family deeply, something that we can’t escape, and it brings me to my knees most days.

I grew up in small town rural Iowa with mom (Sherry), dad (Joe), and my two baby sisters (Cassie and Amber). We didn’t have a lot, but our parents always seemed to find a way, sometimes working 2-3 jobs each to make sure we had enough. Looking back, it was a humbling childhood, but what I think affected me most was my mother’s affection and selflessness towards all of us. She always put her children first, no matter what the sacrifice. If we wanted some stupid toy for Christmas, she would work the overtime or pick up an extra shift. She didn’t care what it took, she just wanted us to be happy.

When I was in middle school, I remember asking my mom what she would change to make her life better if she could go back in time.

Her response was, “I wouldn’t change a thing. I was made to be a good mom. I live for you kids.”

Now that I’m older, I hold onto those words as I watch this horrible disease steal away a beautiful woman. Sometimes I want to yell at God when I hear her stumble through a simple sentence, or when I look at her and feel like she’s not even there anymore. It makes me so mad, and it kills me that I can’t fix it. But then there are the moments of hope, when dad brings her to visit Nashville and we dance all night at The Sutler…or when she grins and taps her foot to the live music…or when I wrap my arms around her, and she takes a deep breath and says, “I’ve missed you, Jay.”

Her words, the good memories, and the moments of joy – that’s what I hold onto.

As a songwriter and up-and-coming artist, I feel that I have an obligation to be a positive role-model, and to also give back by utilizing the gifts that God has blessed me with. In realizing the importance of this, I finally found the courage to write a song about my experience, called “Blank Stares“. My vision is that this song will raise awareness, bring hope to those affected, and most importantly, become a weapon in the fight against Alzheimer’s.

So please, download your copy of “Blank Stares” today, share, and dream with me. Music is powerful. Let’s do something with it.

With all my heart,
Jay Allen

Download “Blank Stares” on iTunes: https://goo.gl/x3Oznd

***ALL PROCEEDS GO TO ABE’S GARDEN***

http://abesgarden.org

9 Comments

  1. This is so beautiful, thank you for putting it in a song. I pray this gets out for the world to hear.

  2. Shirley klapprodt says:

    ,what a fantastic song Jay! Praying for your family! You hold a great big place in my heart!

  3. I didn’t know, thank you for giving us a piece of your heart an telling us what’s going on.
    I always loved your mom an dad..I used to live with them an worked with them. Such a great couple!!!!
    God bless

  4. Thank you! That is truly beautiful.

  5. Just beautiful! Thank You for putting every caregivers feelings into words.

  6. What a truly beautiful song. My husband’s name is Joe. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago. My name is Cheri. How bizarre, same names as your parents. Prayers to you and your family and thanks for writing this song.

  7. Jay, You said what I feel every day of my life right now! I feel so alone some days. Like no one in the world could understand how I feel. I am watching my Dad go thru this. He was diagnosed in 2012. I knew something was not right. It was just me, my Dad and the Dr. in the room we received the heartbreaking news. My Dad could do anything, build any thing, fix any thing. Now he can not
    do ANYTHING for himself. He comes from a large family. He was one of 8 children. All of his brothers and sisters are alive and well. No one comes to see him any more. My brother goes a few times a month. Even my Mom will only go see him once or twice a month. He had to go to a facility two years ago this very week. I live next door to my parents. I look out the door every night before I go to bed and look out as soon as I get up. I still can not believe he is not at home. He became combative and home health care made the call that he could no longer stay home. My heart is broke and I don’t see how it will ever heal. Every one says it will be better. It has not. Your song was such a blessing. I hope and pray one day you and I will be rejoicing when we turn on the TV and hear “We have found a cure!!!'”. My prayers go out to you and your Mom and all her family. And all the families that have to watch one of the worst things on this earth.

  8. Thank you Jay for this beautiful heartfelt song. I too, am watching my mom slip through the cracks as this dreadful disease carries her further away from me. So many of us are hurting inside fighting back the tears as we see our loved ones drift away. Hold on to your mom and cherish every moment you have together. And know that you are not alone. Sending my love and prayers to you.

  9. What a beautiful song. My father passed away from this horrible disease late last year and my mom has just been recently diagnosed. To think of having to do this all over again overwhelms me. My mother is just like yours totally devoted to her children. It breaks my heart to watch her struggle with remembering. I have decided to live each day to the fullest with her while she still knows me and not think about what is coming down the road. Family STRONG!!

    Lisa

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